What made the family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph holy was not that they were "perfect!" (What family would not be perfect who had a sinless mother and child as a part of it – and a foster father who was as sinless as one could possibly be – except for the original sin that he was born into the world with!
What made this family holy was that each member was completely and totally open to all of the gifts that God the Father had to offer them to live their earthly lives in accordance with his will! And what made them holy and perfect was the fact that they each did their God-given duty solely because they loved God the Father from the depths of their hearts – and willed never to do anything apart from that love and that will!
This is where our family life – whether we are children of parents (living or deceased) or parents of children – can resemble that of the holy family! We each can be open to all of the gifts God has to give us (this is the gift-giving time of the year – have we remembered to give God the gift of ourselves for Christmas, and to receive what he has specially chosen for us this year?); and we can resolve to do God's will, live a holy family life because we love God the Father with all of our hearts. Thus will our family life be "holy and perfect in the sight of God" – while on the surface, and from a strangers point of view – it may look anything but holy and perfect!
In the first reading today from the Book of Sirach we are reminded that family members ought to take care of one another – children by parents when they are young, parents by children when they are old. We ought always to honor and respect one another as family members!
St. Paul tells the Colossians an amazing secret to successful family life: let it resemble the love that God the Father has for all his people: let it resemble the love that Christ the Bridegroom has for his Bride the Church (us). Jesus loved the Church (us) so much that he laid down his life for her. He sacrificed for her. He nurtured her tenderly. He took care of her. He, by baptism, bore new children with her. This is exactly how husbands are meant to love their wives, and the submission of which St. Paul speaks means nothing less than the wife, the bride, allowing the husband to love her thusly! To dote over her, to protect her, to give his life in many ways for her – even to the point of death – this is the duty of the husband, after the example of Christ! Both roles involve self-donation and mutual giving!
Family life borne of mutual respect, mutual friendship, mutual love, mutual caring, mutual sacrifice will always - to be authentic and genuine - be a free gift of members to one another; it will be total and complete, needing no other source of compensation; it will be faithful and fruitful and creative of a variety of manifestations of more and more of God's gifts – gifts to be used at the service of one another!
It is never too late to begin to have a more pure, a more holy, a more perfect family life. It simply takes prayer to the Holy Spirit for guidance and power needed; the decision to do so, and then taking the first step of giving ourselves freely to those who are nearest and dearest to us – our families!
Let the peace of Christ control our hearts; let the word of Christ dwell in us richly- and we will know what to do; we will always know what to do!
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